I feel like abortions should bother me more
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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