I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
