once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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