i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
