They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
