are you still at the devil's house?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
