literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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