Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
