Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
