I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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