Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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