doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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