Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
