it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize