She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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