Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
