needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
