I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
