No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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