Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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