You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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