When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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