i just google imaged poop.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
