I just made out with a guy for $7.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
