WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
