Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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