better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
