she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
