you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
