so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
