I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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