You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
