you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
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Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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