Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
