can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Text me some of your sweat
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
