I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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