All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
