i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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