I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
