# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
