She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
