you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
