when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Even my vagina gasped.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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