You're so nebulous sometimes
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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