Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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