tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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