I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm at about main and main street
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
