Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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