whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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