I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
