remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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