I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
