Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
