i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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