youre lurking in front of me
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
