why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is Oprah even human
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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