i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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