I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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