Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize