dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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