Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have feelings that need drinking.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
