I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Couch. On fire.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
