OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
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A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
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After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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